Steps
by Jyo-Chan
Summary: Nothing is ever fair, right? Especially for a Nobody. [For Illbewaiting]


Nothing is ever fair, right? Especially for a Nobody. (For Illbewaiting) 

I'd love to dedicate this little one shot for illbewaiting who spoils me with lots of pretty pictures and makes me squeal in my seat in the absolute wonderful yaoi-ness. I was planning to write a different story but…I got stuck in the rut with that one. Lols. Here's to you Sule! Read and enjoy!

* * *

The things he saw. The man dressed in black that none of his friends seem to see or notice.  
The things he heard. The whistle of the mysterious train that never existed in the first place.  
The things he felt. The feeling of heartache and anger when he saw _him_. 

They have to be real right?  
It can't just be his imagination, right?

Why didn't anybody believe him? The man dressed in black that none of his friends saw, the man who tripped him over and took the munny pouch full of their hard earned pay.  
Why didn't his best friend believe him? When he heard the whistle of the mysterious train and chased it all the way down to the train station.  
Why didn't Hayner believe him? He felt something akin to absolute betrayal when Hayner walked away from him with an air of frustration.

He had never felt so useless in his life. (Non)  
He had never felt so hopeless in his life. (Existent)  
He had never felt so…unworthy…in his… (Life)

He watched his other two friends sigh and finally walk away from him.  
He had never felt so alone before.

Will anything ever go right for him?  
Or will everything always turn out for the worst?

* * *

Watching the blond looking so forlorn triggered a memory of feeling pain. A twinge in the empty space where the heart was supposed to be. 

The blond continued to look that way as his so-called friends continued to walk away from him and disappear from his view.

They weren't his friends. _He_ was his _only_ friend.

But why didn't he remember? They should've memorized everything about each other by now. Just the thought of it sparked off another memory of being completely lost and hopeless.

Before he even thought about his next plan, his next move, and before he could even stop himself, he was already eight steps away from the blond.

And before he could even stop himself, his voice started speaking without his permission, "Roxas."

The said person tensed visibly at the voice and slowly, oh so slowly, turned his head to stare at the red head with wide, frightened, lost blue eyes.

"You don't belong here." The red head extended a hand out to the blond, this time, as an offer rather than force.

The blond furrowed his eyebrows in hurt and looked away from the red head.

Axel took a step forward, "I'm sorry." He tried to apologize. For whatever wrong, or right, he did.

Roxas quietly retorted, "Do you mean it?"

He took another step closer, "Of course I mean it."

The blond took a while to answer, "We're not supposed to have hearts. We're not supposed to feel. How can you mean it…if you don't know what it feels like to understand it?"

The red head took a hurried step forward and stopped himself before he all-out ran towards the other, "You remember now?" he tried not to sound too hopeful.

"…No." he lied as he continued to avoid those green, green eyes.

He took a slow, calculated step towards Roxas and tried again, "Do you remember me?" The empty space where his heart should be clenched painfully, and for a moment, he wondered if he really had a heart or not.

"…No." he lied again as he stared at his shoes, finding them to be a little bit more interesting than his surroundings and the ever approaching red head.

"Don't lie to me." He tried to keep his voice neutral, but found he couldn't quite keep the slight tone of anger out of it. He carefully watched the expressions on the blonds' face and tried to remember the names and titles of each emotion that passed.

Why is it…that Axel always knew what Roxas was feeling? Even back when they were still in the organization. Axel knew that Roxas was leaving, and he had hoped that he could stop him and possibly change his mind.

"I'm not." The blond vaguely felt that he wasn't supposed to remember these things. Like a constant nagging, a constant demand for him to forget.

But ever since that day, all the memories came flooding back. He remembered everything, yet at the same time, he couldn't remember anything.

He couldn't tell which memories were right, and which were false, which were implanted and which he experienced.

He brushed it off as a figment of his imagination, the stress that his summer holiday was coming to an end and the project has yet to be completed.

He pretended he didn't remember. Even though it felt vaguely wrong to be lying to the red head.

And he knew, "You're lying." He took another step forward, "I can see it in your eyes."

The blonds' features slowly etched into a frown.

"Why are you putting yourself through this? You deserve so much better." Axel felt his own features turn into one of concern.

"What can you offer me that I haven't already lost before?" he retorted angrily.

Axel took another step forward and extended his hand in a gesture of trying and wanting to understand, "I can't offer anything, but…" he didn't know what to say, "But…" he really didn't have anything to offer, "But I know you deserve better."

"I don't deserve anything. I was never supposed to exist." His voice lost all traces of anger, replaced by melancholy.

He took an angry step forward, he was sick of hearing it, "Neither was I!"

The blond flinched at the loud voice, and when the words sunk in, he couldn't help but feel guilty and selfish.

He had never thought about it that way before.

Axel couldn't believe he exploded the way he did just now. "But even so…" they stood silently for a few minutes before the red head swallowed his nerves and anxiety, "I'm glad I do, even if I was never supposed to."

Shocked at those words, Roxas finally brought himself to look into those green, green eyes, "Why?"

"Because." He stared into those blue eyes which he had missed so much, "I got to meet you." The blue eyes which widened in shock, "It makes my non-existent life, so worth it." the blue eyes which looked hurt.

He took his last step forward and stared at the forlorn blond, "I feel…" he slowly raised his arms and encircled them around Roxas.

For a moment, the blond didn't know what to do, but slowly, he raised his own arms and gripped on the red head's leather coat.

"I've missed you…" Axel sighed and tightened his hold on the blond, determined not to let go.

Roxas couldn't help but return the hug, "I know…" he closed his eyes and remembered the words which Axel had oh so quietly spoken to the dark. "…I don't want to go back."

Back to that forsaken place of absolute nothingness.

"…Do you want to stay?" there was a sudden edge to his tone. Bordering on apprehension.

The blond took a while to consider his so-called friends, his so-called family, his so-called school life. Everything in this so-called 'Twilight Town', "…No."

The red head let out a relieved sigh, "Then I'll run away with you." The red head released his hold on the blond and kept him an arm's length away as he looked into those blue eyes with his own eyes of green filled with memories of absolute glee and happiness.

He had a smile on his face as he grabbed hold of Roxas' hand and started running.

To where? He didn't know. But as long as they were together, he couldn't care less.

As they ran, they felt a fluttering of their nonexistent hearts.

Roxas felt his lips tug up into a smile as he ran with Axel.

Even if it's just for a short amount of time, they'll run away from their destiny. Just for a little while.

It'll be the great escape.

* * *

It's short, but, I really liked it. Lols. It has nothing to do with that song by the way, I just thought it fitted very nicely. 


End file.
